It's Not All Flowers and Puppies

There is a misconception out there, perpetuated by some regarding their faith or religion, that being a member of whatever “tribe” is all flowers and puppies.  No wonder some people are turned off by the idea of “organized religion” or even faith in general.  How fake!  Let’s be real, people – and be real people!  No matter what faith or religion you ascribe to, you are still a human being.  Don’t act like you aren’t and go around thumping people with your Bible, or Koran, or Veda, or Tao-te-ching, or Book of Mormon, or any other “holy” book (or lack thereof, you atheists and agnostics out there).  Admit it.  We’re all human (yes, even you are not perfect).  Your faith and religion are not all flowers and puppies.  Here’s why.

 Not all flowers are pretty.

Not all flowers are pretty to everyone.  We all have a favorite.  Some people don’t like flowers at all.  Some flowers just look or act “different.”  So it is with people.  We are each drawn to certain types of people (physically or aesthetically).  Some people are just loners, need some sort of therapy…or are just plain mean and best left alone.  And there will always be people who are a bit or more outside what culture (whichever one you choose) would deem “abnormal” either by look or by behavior.  Going back to flowers, for example, consider peonies.  They have always creeped me out.  The ants crawling all over them to open the blossom…*shudder*…maybe that’s because I’m not fond of bugs.  Or there’s the venus fly trap.  Now that one’s different.  It’s carnivorous!  Aren’t there people like that?  And, I would maintain, there are some faiths…more like cults that are like that, too.  People can have a favorite faith or religion.  A particular message may be interesting or look good, or what’s professed could be something to which a person is (or should be) allergic, or looks plain odd.  Not every faith or religion is pretty to everyone.

Not all flowers smell nice.

Do all flowers have an aroma – a pleasant one at least?  Some people are allergic and would like to like flowers, but never can truly enjoy them.  Or some just smell better to a person than others.  For example, there’s a flowering tree in my yard that gives me a headache almost as soon as I step out of my car or out my door.  Not sure which of the two trees it is, but I sure wish I could just make it go away.  And do we go around smelling all flowers?  I like the smell of roses and carnations.  Tulips are okay, too.  Ever do a “smell” test on a situation or a person?  You walk into a situation or meet someone and think, “Hmm.  Something doesn’t smell right about this.”  I’m not talking about someone’s cologne.  It’s that gut reaction that something’s not right.  And it happens with religion, too.  You walk into a church and listen, and something just seems off.  It doesn’t pass the smell test.  You’re outa’ there and don’t go back.

Not all puppies are cute.

I’m sorry, but it’s true.  Chihuahuas are a good example.  They just aren’t cute…at least to me.  I’m sorry, but those big eared, hairless wonders, are just too funky looking for me to like.  And there are others, but of course it is all opinion.  We all have them – opinions about puppies.  And some people are cat people anyway.  So, please don’t flirt to convert.  I don’t care how cute you think you are.  Someone will not think you are cute enough to follow you to church…or find your church (or lack thereof) that attractive either…and you’ll be offended.  So avoid the offense altogether.  Be honest.  Put your cards on the table and let what happens happen.  Also, keep your eyes open.  Are you going to a church that’s a hairless wonder (or otherwise just not cute)?

Puppies chew on things.

Hide your shoes and buy some chew toys.  Word of advice to those who are consistently barraged by someone who talks ad nauseum about their beliefs: smile and nod unless you are ready to engage.  Some puppies will grow out of chewing.  Others can be trained on what is okay to chew on and what is not.  And, admittedly, there are some who will never stop.  In that case, yes, hide your shoes and anything else you value.  Try to politely disengage.  Do not call them a Bible thumper.  It’s rude and may only make things worse.  If you chewers out there have the insight to recognize you are a chewer, learn the difference between toys and shoes.  People will like you better if you don’t chew on their shoes (i.e. harping on someone else about their beliefs will annoy them at least).  Also, try to only chew on your toys when it is appropriate.  Constant squeaking sounds can only be tolerated for so long.

Puppies poop on the carpet.

Until housebroken, prepare to clean the carpet.  Similarly, the enthusiastic yet uneducated believer can get things wrong.  If you are one of those, consider this your nose being rubbed in it.  Go learn!  Study your faith and your religion.  Know the theology, the tenets, and the arguments against them.  You cannot make clear what you yourself do not know.  Don’t poop on the carpet of someone you hope to convince.  It will have the opposite effect.  Get housebroken.  If you are someone whose carpet has been soiled, put away the rolled up newspaper or magazine.  Smacking the puppy on the nose is mean and you may end up being bitten (or with more poo on the carpet).  You could probably use some housebreaking yourself.  After all, you were a puppy once, too…and maybe still are in your own beliefs.  And just because that particular puppy poops on the carpet does not mean all dogs will.  Maybe you just need to be having the debate with a more mature creature – one who knows how not to poop on the carpet.

So what just happened?  What was that all about?  If the big paragraphs were too daunting, I hope this will help.

·         Not everyone wants to join your church (or leave the one they’re in).  Grass is not always greener – not to everyone.   Accept it.

·         When you walk into a new church or come into a discussion with someone over belief, trust that little voice in your head.  Instinct is often right.  However, a word of caution: don’t confuse with instinct the nervousness that comes with entering new territory.

·         Attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder.  This is another thing to accept.

·         Do not try to force your beliefs on someone else.  Talking about it is one thing.  Being a jerk is another.

·         Tolerance first.

·         Polite disengagement second.

·         Running and hiding should be your last option and only one of desperation (as puppies will likely chase you).

·         Learn all you can about your belief and those of others; and, I might add, learn it from reputable sources.

I feel that last point is especially important – especially today when there are so many options for what to believe and where to believe it.  Knowledge is power.  Blindly believing whatever someone tells you is risky.   So always be educating yourself.  Know both sides of the story.  The more you know, the better the chances you will make a wise decision or come to a wise choice – and, one would hope, the best decision/choice for you.  This is advice that applies to parts of life outside faith/religion.

So...

If I offended you, it was not my intention.

If I caused you to think – good!  That was my intention.

If I convinced you I am both mightily opinionated and a bit touched in the head – duh.  It’s part of my charm.