New Year's Eve and Cold Toes

2013 is almost done (of course some parts of the world have already moved on).  Here, anyway, it has two hours (give or take) to go.  Jenna volunteered for a 9:00 bedtime (!) since tomorrow is potentially going to be a busy day with guests coming for the football game.  I should do some cleaning now so it doesn't need to be done in the morning...but that would be productivity and my subconscious is in Friday mode and seems to think my body can be lazy.  I'm not doing a very good job fighting that.  And I'm pretty sure I have ice cubes for toes which surely would make walking around the house difficult.  Samson is following me everywhere I go because of the pops and bangs of fireworks nearby.  (Why are there fireworks going off at 10-something o'clock?  Doesn't 2014 start at midnight?)  It makes him nervous so he stays close to his mommy.  Lots of "good boy, Samson" and reassuring pats.

I should put on some slippers, eat a dairy and nitrate-free sugar cookie (thanks, Cookie Fairy!), put away my hymnal collection, and maybe find an appropriate libation for ringing in 2014.  And 2014 is looking to be a very, very...um...different year.  2014...Hard to wrap my mind around the fact it will be here in less than two hours.  What happened to 2013?!

A Unique Christmas Week

It has certainly been a unique week and subsequently a unique Christmas.

As with just about every weekend she has spent with me so far, Jenna and I did the whole church music and errands thing all weekend.  Then the uniqueness started.  We packed up and headed for the farm.  The drive was fine and she was very excited to be making her first trip to a real farm.  I worked maybe a couple hours at most on most days of the week and all remotely.  That in and of itself is highly unique.
My family was very welcoming as I fully expected.  Jenna got to meet everyone - even Andrew and Andrea who made a surprise trip up from Arizona!  She had a blast playing with Nikki and Ivy who were anxious to impress her and followed her everywhere.
Christmas morning was a little rough as concerns over "being bored" came out of nowhere and she was frustrated with not always getting her way in between spurts of having a wonderful time.  Christmas evening there was a disagreement over what to eat and what time to go to bed, but that was resolved fairly.
The day after Christmas was a rough one, too...and there was a full on meltdown over bedtime.  That was fun.  But we survived and yesterday a lot of time was spent putting energy into proving she can be a good kid.  Today there was some pouting and frustration when scrapbooking wasn't going the way she expected, and a little bit at bedtime and at being told what she can or can't take to church in the morning.

Sleep schedules have been all sorts of messed up.  Diet has been positively unhealthy.  In light of the fact that we're also dealing with hormones out of whack...no wonder she's been cranky and emotional.  She is disappointed she doesn't get to sing in church with me tomorrow.  Hopefully that disappointment doesn't manifest into anything frustrating for both of us.

I can honestly say I've not had a Christmas like this one before and doubtful ever will again.  The next week is shaping up to be as odd.  I will be working partial days in the office most of the week.  Jenna will be going to daycare for those times.  I might work from home on Thursday.  If so, a friend's child will be joining us.  Jenna has appointments during the week and so do I which will make the week more interesting.  Throw in a holiday and a football game and we have more opportunity for screwy sleep and food habits.

Speaking of screwy sleep habits, perhaps I should work on getting some of that sleep stuff about which I've heard so much.  It might help me have more energy and be less inclined to crankiness myself.

A Tale of the Last Few Days and the Next 2 Weeks

The most time yet, Jennifer (who prefers Jenna), will be with me for two weeks over the holidays.  (There you go.  Now you all know her name.)  Her foster family dropped her off Saturday morning (with all her Christmas presents) and will pick her up on January 4th in the afternoon.
We have been shopping like crazy over the weekend when we weren't at church, and I think we are as ready for Christmas as we can be.  Next week...we'll see.
I am working from home (or the farm) at random this week.  So far that is Monday morning, Tuesday afternoon, Thursday afternoon, and sometime Friday.  Next week I will go into the office at least a couple days, but not for full days.  I want to spend as much time with Jen as I can and thankfully have plenty of ETO to do it.

Last week I was poking at the caseworker and finally heard from her Thursday that we're waiting for a report from Jenna's therapist.  Once the caseworker has it and has reviewed it, we schedule a time for the current foster-mom, the caseworker, and myself to meet with Jenna and her therapist at his office to tell her about everything.  That's right.  She still doesn't know.  (So if you are going to be around her over these next couple weeks, please be careful to not talk about adoption or living with me, etc.)  After the meeting and telling, there is paperwork to file with the state and then Jen will move to my house.  All told the process should take about two weeks once started.  Meanwhile, I am just the nice respite care lady with the crazy dog and "cool" church.

Thursday night was her "Winter Concert" at school.  Sarah and Tegan came and kept me company listening to kids play "Jingle Bells" badly.  It was so cute!  It was also so awkward as her biological father was there along with the step-family, foster-mom, and mentor (who seems very nice).  Nothing more awkward than having someone you know and who you know knows you realize you are the person taking in your kid.  Oy.  But it was nice she had so much support there.  She needs that.

Jenna is very excited about going to the farm.  She wanted to leave Sunday night.  I'll be lucky to be ready by Monday afternoon!  I'm glad she's looking forward to it.  I know she will be welcomed with open arms (and that makes me excited).  She is also excited about singing "Away in a Manger" with my family.  Who wouldn't be?  ;-)

I really need to keep working on getting ready to leave.  Clothes and et cetera don't pack themselves!  Maybe I'll even get to sleep a little at some point.  I can't wait to get to the farm and relax a little...or try.  :-)

More Waiting

And let there be more waiting.  I talked to the caseworker on Thursday.  She is waiting to hear back from the therapist.  So...more waiting.  If/when the therapist signs off, it will be current foster-mom, plus caseworker, plus me, plus Kiddo and the therapist in the therapist's office.  That won't be weird at all...or intense.

A Monumental Decision

Well, it has been quite a month or so.  Kiddo has visited me more or less every other weekend now since sometime near the beginning of November (or there about).  This most recent time was from Thursday night to Monday morning.  We got to practice dropping off and picking up from school.  Can't say that was all too exciting or challenging.  She seemed bummed when I dropped her off Monday morning, but I was bummed too that the weekend was over and it was time to go back to work.

So I have had a monumental decision looming in front of me since I heard about and met this little girl.  Do I, or don't I?  Would I be the best mom for her?  I have been surrounded by encouragement, voices that insisted "yes, you should" and the like.  I think I have been the only one not jumping up and down excited and positive.  I've tried to let the rational side of my brain be in charge.  I have recently had the opportunity to chat with several people who have experience in the adoption and foster system (including two who were themselves adopted from foster care) and they have had very good advice to give about how to decide, what these kids need, the changes this could or will bring, and more.  It has been most helpful.

I have decided to move forward with the placement of this little girl in my home.  I called my agency guy and Kiddo's caseworker late this afternoon to get the ball rolling.  I had to leave a message for the caseworker, but I suspect I will be getting a phone call from her straight away tomorrow...probably while I'm not able to answer the phone.  We will talk about details such as moving dates and so much more I'm sure.  After a minimum of six months fostering, we are able to move forward with adoption if so desired.

The adventure continues just in an even more real way.  It came down to my willingness to step out in faith.  So...*step*

A neat way to help!

Have heard about this website a couple times now.  What a neat way to help these kids!

http://www.onesimplewish.org/

Please check it out.  :)

The Latest on the Kiddo Front

This most recent weekend went well I think.  We had spaghetti and watched "The Little Mermaid" Friday night.  During dinner I was told "we have a lot in common."  She was very matter of fact.  It was cute.  Saturday she was very happy to get to sing again with the worship team and we ran errands all over town (or what felt like all over town).  She helped me with some Christmas shopping for Nikki and Ivy.  We picked a book for her while we were at Barnes & Noble.  We ate at Wendy's.  There was a little bit of pouting when I said "no" to a movie too close to bedtime, but it didn't last long.  Oh, and we made No Bake Cookies which turned out very well.  Sunday we enjoyed church again.  She seemed to get more out of Sunday School than last time and still thinks my church is cool.  Sarah and Tegan came over for a good old-fashioned homemade lunch with Kiddo and me before her ride came.

I won't have her over Thanksgiving or this weekend, but for now the adults are planning for her to come again next weekend.  I hope these couple weeks go better for her than the last time.

I've not been able to get ahold of the caseworker yet this week.  I keep getting her voicemail.  I have a few questions for her, some more to discuss.

Today I had a great conversation with a gal in Omaha who is an "adoption recruiter" and who was one of the trainers for the foster parenting class.  She is amazing.  On her 6th adoption, she knows whereof she speaks!  She was able to give me some great advice on how to decide if I would be the best mom for this little girl and also gave me some information about a support group in Lincoln.  She also said she would pray for me and Kiddo and that she wished she was handling my case (or whatever you call it).  I wish she was, too.  It's very easy to talk to her and she is so ridiculously qualified to give advice!  Anyway, it was a very beneficial conversation and she is still a contact and I know I can talk to her or write her any time.

The conversation inspired me to talk to my boss about the potential effect on my work that this particular child could have, and she is also very, very supportive.  I am very blessed to have a great boss.

Another Weekend With Company

The same little girl from a couple weeks ago will be staying with me again this weekend.  This time she will be here from Friday night about dinnertime until Sunday early afternoon.  We will be going to a worship team rehearsal again this Saturday which I'm sure she will enjoy.  I'm not sure what we will do for the rest of the day.  I think I will try to leave work early Friday to get some errands run so I don't have to worry about them over the weekend.  Hopefully I get a chance to chat with the caseworker more before then to get a better understanding of how the kiddo has been since she was here before and if anything has changed.  I am curious to see if her behavior is different now that I am not an utter stranger.

How the Weekend Went

So Saturday and Sunday I had company.  The 11-year-old I last told you about in an earlier post spent Saturday and part of Sunday with me.  She came with me to rehearsal Saturday morning and then helped me get ready for Justin, Trisha and the girls coming for the football game.  She wore Samson out with playing fetch.  Nikki and Ivy had a lot of fun playing with their new friend.  She is great with little kids and seems to really enjoy them.  Sunday morning she sang with the worship team at 8:00 (no fear!) and then sat with Grace and her daughter Sam during the 10:30 service.  She and Sam really hit it off, too.  She said my church is "cool."  We went out to eat with Sarah, Jon, and Tegan at Village Inn after church was all done.  Sunday afternoon her foster mother met us at the church where I had choir rehearsal.  She had never been to a church service that used guitars like our contemporary service does and said she had never eaten at Village Inn before.

There were really no problems.  There was a little bit of pouting over a misunderstanding, but she got over that and it was as if nothing had even happened.  Sounds like the last couple days have not been good, however.  We won't be having another visit this weekend, but the caseworker and I are hoping to work something out for next weekend.  I want to get some more time under our belts first before I decide if this will become permanent.  The current foster mother seems to think it will be.  The caseworker is hoping so.

My heart just breaks for this little girl.  There is so much need there!  But we need to be realistic and do the proper due diligence before taking a really big step and saying "yes" - regardless of what folks around us are saying.

Choir Concert This Weekend!

It's time for the choir concerts!  Hope you can find the time for either the concert in Schuyler on Saturday at 3:00 or in Lincoln on Sunday at 3:00.  Here's a link to the concert announcement.

http://lincolnlutheranchoir.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/LLC_ShelterLord_Fall2013.pdf

It's some really neat music...including some in Russian and some in Latin!  ...Well...I think it's fun.  :)

Decided Yes

Friday afternoon I left a message for the caseworker saying I was interested in next steps regarding the little girl in Lincoln.  Today, the caseworker happened to call at probably the only time all day when I had two minutes to answer.  Next thing I know, we're scheduling for the kiddo to be dropped off at my house Saturday morning before worship team rehearsal.  We will spend the day together and she'll spend the night with me.  Someone will pick her up from my house Sunday early afternoon.
I was busy enough today that I more or less had no time for "what the *bleep* just happened" moments.  Now I am feeling a very strong urge to clean.  So far I have successfully suppressed that urge by eating dinner and watching television.  I will follow that up with going to bed.  Probably should try to succumb to that urge to clean come tomorrow night when I get home from the chiropractor.  Would be nice to have the dishes and laundry done before she comes.

It really is rocket science.

The comment is made so often that the clearance process I help people with really isn't rocket science...or maybe it is.  I guess that makes me a rocket scientist!  Well, at least for Halloween.  :)

Clipboard: "Oh no! It was rocket science."

 And in case you were wondering, there are pencils and a pen in my hair and my "badge" says "NASA Rocket Scientist."  I think I'm going to leave it on there.

A Big Decision

So...I have a big decision to make.  I plan to sleep on it again tonight.  My LFS guy found out about a little girl in Lincoln who is in need of permanent placement.  She is 11 and loves, loves, loves to sing.  She also really enjoys spending time with younger children.  She does have some rather intense emotional needs, but they sound like more extreme versions of things I've dealt with myself, so I might be able to help more than some others.  I talked with her case worker (who called me twice yesterday) and we had a good conversation.  She is waiting for me to say yay or nay to meeting this little girl.  Everyone seems to be pretty excited about the prospect of this being a good matching.  So I've been praying since yesterday afternoon for the necessary guidance to decide what the correct choice happens to be...and I'm leaning toward yes.

I got my way.

I got my way and LFS guy sent me my home study.  I told him the next day that they should never use again the woman who did mine because there were things that were flat out wrong.  It was mostly health stuff.  He said he would talk to his boss to see what there was we needed or should do.  According to the home study, the only weaknesses I have are being single and being "intolerant of clutter."  ...Obviously no one's been to my home lately.  I have a lot of cleaning up to do before folks come over for the football game Saturday.  Intolerant my *bleep*.  Oh well.  If that's the worst they have to say about me, I think I'm in pretty good shape.  :)

If I checked my email first...

I would have seen I already had an email from LFS guy.  He tried to explain the process to me.  Apparently he thinks I don't understand how this works.  (That inspires confidence.)  Then he wrote that he'd ask his boss about what can be done "to release that information."  So I responded that not letting me see my own home study would be like my physician not letting me see my own medical records.  I'm sure he'll be happy to see that email Monday, but I'm irritated.  It's never wise for anyone to talk to me (or write) as if I'm ignorant - never.

The answer was 'no.'

Received a very polite "no" regarding the most recent inquiry.  I promptly decided I'd had enough of not knowing what these people were receiving from people who don't know me, so I straight away told my LFS guy I want a copy of my home study.  I haven't heard back from him.

Concert/Celebration/Festival Sunday

Sunday (the 27th) is Reformation Sunday (a Sunday in the church year I affectionately refer to as "Happy Lutheran Day").  We will have some special music at church for the traditional service at 8:00.  At 5:00 there is a "Reformation Festival" at Redeemer Lutheran Church which involves the Lincoln Lutheran Choir.  We are singing two special pieces which will also be at our concert next month.  There will be other music as well which is apparently going to be a surprise reserved for 4:00 Sunday when we get to the pre-festival rehearsal.  I'm sure there will be some most excellent "A Mighty Fortress" singing!
After the concert-thing there is a German meal (sausage, sauerkraut, etc) with entertainment by a polka and "oom-pah-pah" band.  Should be lots of fun.  I am looking forward to it.

Another Inquiry Made

This morning I sent another inquiry.  This one is about an 11-year-old in Nebraska.  The caseworker requested my home study at the end of the day.  The email and release form have been sent, so hopefully my LFS guy will be sending the home study off to her first thing in the morning.

I am nervous about this "strangers informing strangers" and strangers passing judgment on me when it comes to something so incredibly important and life-changing.  I'm used to having a lot more control over things around me.  Tacking on the increased stress at work makes me very desperate for a vacation...or a good, solid nap.

Special Times

This year I wasn't able to attend Nikki's nor Ivy's birthday parties, so instead I took each of them out for some one-on-one time with Auntie.

Nikki and I went to lunch at a place of her choice.

Then we went shopping at the craft store (Michael's) where she helped me spend money on stickers, fake flowers, and more.  Last we went to a movie theater with big cushy chairs that recline where we saw "Monsters University."

Ivy and I did things a little different because I had that adoption thing in the early afternoon.  So first she and I went to the craft store where she helped me spend money on stickers, fake flowers, and more.  Then we drove down to the Omaha Children's Museum for a "Pirate Adventure."  We played outside while waiting for the doors to open.

The adventure consisted of playing games, eating pizza, making a pirate hat, learning about pirates, singing a pirate song and going on a treasure hunt...Well, she did all those things.  I followed along taking pictures and carrying our stuff.

 

Since I had a picture of Nikki and I together on her birthday date, I figured I needed a picture of me with Ivy, too, even though our day was done and we both look a little on the worn side.

 



I think this could be a fun tradition...or just something that needs to be done regularly.

About Saturday's Event

To satisfy the curiosity of those who are wondering about Saturday's adoption event thing...

(By the way, I have no technical term for it.  I don't think they really do either or maybe I would know what to call those two hours I spent in Omaha the other day.)

It was...different.  I got a couple good craft ideas from it...which was so not the purpose for being there.  There was the usual food I couldn't eat.  I was the only single non-staff-member there.  Culturally the room was split about 50/50 give or take.  At the same time, however, it was culturally lopsided.  Most of the children there who are waiting for parents are African American or Latin.  Most of the adults there waiting for children are Caucasian (of the non-Latin variety).  I helped a little boy with sticky fingers get his fingers un-sticky and play Bingo.  He was positive every play was a Bingo.  One of the adoption recruiters had been one of the trainers when I did my foster parent training back in February and March.  I was pleasantly surprised to discover she remembered me - not just my face but also my name.  Before I left, she made a point to tell me that she was always thinking about me and that her silence was not from having forgotten me but that she didn't "have anyone" for me "right now."

So, nothing spectacular, certainly some interesting people...and craft ideas.  :)

An Update to the Last Update

Meant to write this yesterday or the day before (whenever it was), but time seemed to get away from me again.  Heard from Michigan.  They aren't saying "no," but they are saying there's a preference for placement with a family closer to where she lives now.  In other words, I'd be a last resort.  And that's fine.

I am currently weighing the idea of submitting an inquiry regarding a young lady who is in Nebraska somewhere.  She's seventeen.  I'm kind of waiting to see how the meet & greet thing goes on Saturday.

Finally a Little Update

Here's where things stand as of today...

Iowa: My LFS guy sent an email to follow up but hasn't heard back.  (He doesn't seem to have any real hope there.)

New!
Michigan: Over the weekend, I submitted an inquiry regarding a 10-year-old girl.  This morning I discovered that yesterday her picture had been updated and a response to my inquiry had been left on the website yesterday.  Her caseworker has requested a copy of my home study (among a couple other related documents), so I let LFS guy know and this afternoon my information should have been in the proper hands.

And that's how it goes again - hurry up and wait.  We'll see if I have anything to post sooner than there has been with regards to Iowa.

This coming Saturday I will be in Omaha for the "Bringing Children and Families Together event."  In other words, for a couple hours I will wear a name tag, play games, do crafts, chat with people and then flee from the awkwardness of being the only single person there.  (That's an assumption, of course, but it's a pretty safe one.)  I will write a post to let everyone know how that goes.

To Ask or Not to Ask

How long has it been since Iowa received my home study information?  I really want to ask my LFS guy whether this is normal, but I have a feeling it is...But I really, really want to know something.  All this waiting is, at the very least, draining.  It definitely is stressful, and certainly could be described as frustrating...I don't like being frustrated.

Concert Sunday Afternoon (29th)

The Lincoln Lutheran Choir is joining several other choirs at First Plymouth Church this Sunday afternoon.  Should be lots of fun.  It will be a huge choir and some really fun music.  Below are the details for those interested who haven't already heard or planned to be there.  :)

HOW CAN WE KEEP FROM SINGING?
SUNDAY, SEPT 29 || 4 PM
Celebrate the release of the new Hymns at First Plymouth CD recording as Abendmusik launches its 2013-14 season with a Hymn Festival. You will be invited to sing along with the Abendmusik Chorus, Doane Collegiate Chorale, and Lincoln Lutheran Choir, accompanied by the Plymouth Brass Quintet and the inspiring Lied Organ. When the entire community is gathered together, how can we keep from singing?
TICKETS
ADULT: $12
SENIOR: $10
STUDENT: $5

First Plymouth is at 2000 D Street (in Lincoln, of course).  :)

Hope you can make it!

P.S.  Lincoln Lutheran Choir will be participating in a Reformation Sunday celebration at Redeemer Lutheran Church on the last Sunday in October, too.  I'll try to post those details sooner than I did these.

Random babblings of a lonely person.

(Maybe that should be the title of my blog.)

Have you seen the commercial for some car that's supposed to be able to predict accidents "two cars ahead"?  I'm thinking bull *fake cough*.  How is that even possible - especially in the scenario in the commercial where they are behind a truck there's no way any driver could see around let alone any car.  What protects them from the accident is not riding the bumper of the truck!  It has nothing to do with some magic trick the car supposedly can do.

I have a stack of books in front of me.  One is a self-help book about dealing with ones past.  Another is a Buddhist thing that basically says the same thing as Philippians from the New Testament of the Bible (for the random non-Bible-reader who might accidentally run across this post).  The last is a book full of information on essential oils.  I have the rather irrational belief that I might look at one or all of them over the course of the evening.

I made something really awesome for dinner.  There's no easy way to record it in my "food tracker," though.  It's rotini pasta, some pseudo-cheese, some pseudo-butter, spinach, tomatoes, bacon pieces, onion, and a splash of chipotle sauce.  That probably sounds weird, but it actually is very awesome.  But it's also organic and homemade, so putting it into the "food tracker" is unfortunately very difficult.

Speaking of the "food tracker"...Work gave everyone in my department this bracelet thing that's supposed to be able to track my steps, whether I'm awake or asleep, etc and the website lets you track food, water, BP, mood, allergies, and even more.  It's pretty neat.  I'd never have done it if the thing hadn't been given to me for free as this bracelet thing costs about $100 on its own.  According to the sleep function, I wake up at least 3 times a night (12 last night, but who's counting...besides the bracelet).  So it's been pretty interesting.  I've also learned that though my eating habits are atrocious at best and my activity level even worse, I'm actually 9 times out of 10 burning more than I'm taking in...and yet my weight stays the same, so that makes no sense.  However, I intend to change that.  It also has a function for setting up goals and tracking them, so I've finally set a weight goal and it is using my activity level and calories consumed and sorting out how much I should be consuming compared to how active I am.  If nothing else, this will be an excellent exercise in futility, but at most it should be a good tool for meeting some goals and sorting out a few health things.

And speaking of health things, I've been on a sort of "new agey" (to use a made up phrase from a friend) kick and have been looking for natural remedies for as much as possible where it comes to my ailments (thus the aforementioned book about essential oils).  It's been rather interesting learning about foods, teas, oils, and so on.  Hopefully I learn and try something that actually helps with enough significance to improve my health or at least give me tools to deal with it better.

Well, I'm distracted by a movie now, so I guess the babbling will have to stop for now.

Only Mondays

Apparently nothing happens in the foster/adopt world except on Mondays...Well, things were sort of happening last Friday, but I think that was just for the purpose of giving me false hope that there would be things happening on days other than Monday this week as well.  I'm not sure why I'm surprised let alone disappointed.

Updates for Monday

Today was a day for movement on the foster/adopt front.

First the less exciting news.  I received a "no thanks" type of message regarding the gal in Colorado.  So that one's done now, too.

Now the more interesting part of the update.  Friday I wrote that Iowa requested a copy of my home study.  Today she should have received it...once I explained what a release of information form was (Iowa - go figure).  My guy said he was sending it off, so she should have it as of sometime this afternoon.  This is the first one to request my home study.

It is both exciting and nerve-wracking.  I am anxious to find out if I'm found acceptable enough to proceed...which I think means the case worker talking to me, asking and answering questions.  Having not been through this, it's rather difficult to tell what exactly is next.  Will just have to wait and see.  Good thing I've had practice doing that.  Fingers crossed and prayers raised there will be more to share soon!

Latest News from Yesterday and This Morning

Following up was definitely a good thing.  Yesterday afternoon, the caseworker for the little girl in Iowa contacted me asking for a copy of my home study to review.  So this morning we are in the process of getting that to her.  I am hoping it can happen today so she has it to review right away.  I hope I will have some additional progress to report later today or on Monday.  :)

My sister is famous...ish!

Check out this commercial.  See if you can pick out Sandra.  :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7klCJX--Mw

It never hurts to follow up, right?

Today I decided to be impatient and sent some follow up emails regarding the inquiry on the girl in Iowa.  I heard back almost immediately - from a Lutheran organization (!) - with contact information for the child's caseworker.  So I emailed that person.  I received an out-of-office auto-response, so I probably won't hear anything again this week, but that was at least a step in a direction of some sort.

I also logged back in to the national website and discovered I had a message regarding the inquiry I made about the siblings in Missouri.  It said to contact such-and-such person directly, so I did.  That message was posted Monday and their status also changed on Monday to being on hold for their caseworker to review home studies.  I don't know what that means except that their caseworker is probably very, very busy, so I doubt I'll hear anything there, either.

Meanwhile, I submitted an inquiry regarding a young teen girl in Colorado and added a couple other kids to my "favorites" list for me to think about and go back and look at again later to decide if I want to submit an inquiry there, too.  We'll see.  I also tweaked my "story" on my profile while I was on the website and uploaded a photo of Samson and myself.  I figure if it's supposed to be a family picture, it should include Samson.

Meanwhile, I received the invitation for the informal meet/greet thing to happen in October (see the first post about the foster/adopt business).  It's a Saturday afternoon in Omaha for just a couple hours.

God willing I hear back from those follow up emails sooner than I expect.  I like having something to share instead of answering "have you heard anything" with yet another "no."

They need to update their website.

A small update...
I found out today that the little boy in Nebraska about whom I inquired is actually "on track to be adopted" by the foster family with whom he's currently placed.  Their website is apparently not current.  But, it is good to not be sitting around wondering...at least about that one.  So that's one down out of three.
The gal did ask permission to review my information and see if there was a different child who seemed like a good match, so I agreed to that.  Who knows.  Something may come of it.  And this is the Nebraska folks, so maybe that will go more quickly than the other two information requests which are out of state and about which I have not heard a peep.  I wish I knew how to follow up - especially on the Iowa one since it has been so long since I submitted that request.
Yesterday I received a phone call from the national one asking me to upload a picture.  I tried that the same day I registered, but the photo I wanted to upload was too large a file.  I guess I need a solution.

So, that's the latest.  Pray that soon I'll have more to tell!

More Information Requests

Nothing really has been happening on the foster/adoption front.  I still have not heard anything regarding my information request about the little girl in Iowa.  In the last couple days I submitted an information request regarding a little boy here in Nebraska.  I also have submitted a request for more information regarding a sister and brother from Missouri.  Those requests are only a couple days old, so I am not surprised to have not heard anything.  I am hoping that the Nebraska one at least will move faster since we are all in the same state.

It feels strange to be looking at children's "profiles" online and then requesting information.  Feels too much like shopping or online dating.  *shudder*  I much prefer the additional way the national website is set up.  I can submit requests, but I also have a profile (like the children do) at which the case workers can look and decide if they want to find out more about me.

So, the update is that I'm doing more waiting.

Wish I Had More News

I wish I had more to tell, but I suppose what I do have is better than nothing.

So, I didn't hear anything from or about Iowa last week (nor today).  Saturday I was in Omaha for a CPR training (which I completed with flying colors, by the way).  It was offered through Lutheran Family Services, so LFS guy was there.  He said he hadn't heard anything from Iowa either and that it can take a couple weeks.  So much for their "two business days," right?  Besides being a star pupil, all was not lost as I was introduced to one of the adoption recruiter gals.  Her name is Wendy and she is going to send me an invitation for an event they are having in October called a "match party."  It is a low key, casual sort of thing where prospective parents and available children mingle without the formality or intensity of an arranged meeting.  It's completely informal - just games, music, crafts - talk to people or you don't - very relaxed.  Meanwhile, she's looking over her records and supposedly my information is passed on to the other "recruiters" for them all to do the same.

Therefore, the waiting continues.

1 business day down

Feeling anxious.  LFS guy hasn't said anything about Iowa contacting him, but I'm not sure he would.  Tomorrow is business day number two.  Assuming they told the truth on their website, they should either be contacting me or at the very least contacting him tomorrow...right?  This all makes me nervous.  It is weird to "shop" for a child online (that's what it kind of feels like)...or I guess even more so it is almost like online dating or something!  Uck!  I suppose I shouldn't expect too much movement.  God works in his own time.  Speaking of which, thank you all for your prayer support.  Your messages last night and today have brought me a lot of smiles and given me warm fuzzies.  Thank you.  :)

I will keep you posted.  (haha!  Blog posts...posted...get it?)

Not a foster/adopt update

I'm livid.  I had a relatively decent day.  Then I got home to a letter from the city - specifically animal control - telling me someone had complained that my dog had "been allowed to bark excessively."  Excuse me?!  He spends all day in the house!  When he's in the house, he only barks if someone comes to the door or there's some similar noise of someone being in our space.
We've been here almost two years, so I don't think it is the elderly man next door as surely he'd have complained by now.  So it has to be someone in the house next door which is a home for young women of every shape, size, color, and type of relationship with their children.  Right now, the house is full of young women either with children there full-time or part-time.  There hadn't been kids there until recently.
I can only imagine that is the change that prompted a complaint.  Maybe Samson woke someone up at 6:30 in the morning.  Or someone came home and he startled her kid.  I don't know.  But no one was brave or honest enough to come to me about anything.
And he's a dog.  Dogs bark.  Squirrels are his mortal enemy, so he barks at them.  Isn't that a natural thing for dogs to do?  He's also protective.  When someone's walking through the ally behind the house and he's outside, he lets me know there's someone around and lets them know he's standing guard.
Mom seems to think it's an isolated incident and we just need to be careful for a while.  Greg suggests I kill the squirrels.  Not sure either has it quite right, but I lean toward killing the squirrels.  Actually, I am feeling very motivated to build a 10-foot-high privacy fence so they can't see him and he can't see them.  And I'll put in some kind of water feature...or maybe wire some speakers and play some kind of white noise so they can't hear each other either.
And maybe the next free moment I have I'll find out what city law says about smoking outdoors and how far you have to be from your neighbor's property when you do.  Then I'll measure and send the city after them.  Or maybe I will politely ask them to smoke at the back of their house instead of in the driveway where the smoke can waft over into my doors and windows...the cowards.

Confession of a Secret

I confess I have been keeping a secret from, well, practically everyone I know.  Now, finally, the point has been reached where talking about what's going on is...um...more interesting than it would have been before.  That is to say there really wasn't anything happening for a long time.  Now there's motion forward and things are far more certain (though some would say it was always certain and I'm just paranoid).  So here's what's up...

Yesterday (Monday, August 19th) I received some good news.  Finally, all ducks were in their row and I am officially licensed/approved to be a foster mom.  More importantly, that means I can adopt a child from foster care which actually is the ultimate goal.

I will give you a minute to digest that...

("Jeopardy" theme music)

Need a little more time?  Okay...

("Jeopardy" theme music)

Time for the back story.  I have always felt like a natural born mom, and here I am with no children of my own.  Facing the fact that biologically my time is wearing thin and being utterly surrounded by talk of adoption (that's another story for another time, I think), I decided to give adoption a more serious consideration.  As I am who I am, I started doing research.  The conclusion to which I came was that there are children out there who need a mom.  Foster kids have lost so much or been deprived of so much it seems to me they deserve to finally be receiving versus losing.  Neither of us should have to continue to miss out on what would be so mutually beneficial.

So, in February, I decided to start the process and chose Lutheran Family Services as my agency.  They don't have an office in Lincoln (for some ridiculous reason), so almost immediately I was driving to Omaha once a week for foster parenting classes.  This was in time for Lent and ended just in time for Easter and the choir concerts.  Oy.  That was rough.  But the timing was just right and the weather held on the days I needed to drive, thank God.  I finished class, went through basically two "home study" experiences because the Lincoln lady was practically ignorant and left all sorts of gaps causing the guy from Omaha to drive out here to follow up with his own visit.

Finally, everything was submitted to the State of Nebraska.  Then the gal at the state had questions that made no sense.  LFS guy and I sorted things out and the paperwork was resubmitted.  There were a couple more questions (supposedly the last), and everything was submitted again.  Then more waiting...and more waiting...and, yes, more waiting.  What had become an "any day" turned into an "I've called every week and they are still waiting for the check from the State of Arizona to come back, but otherwise, everything is fine."  Oookay.  Thanks, AZ.  About a week later...

I was working with new hires yesterday.  Just before noon, my phone started buzzing while I was sitting with someone elsewhere in the room.  "Is that my phone?"  "Yes."  "Okay.  I was wondering who wasn't answering their phone."  When I got back to the desk at the front of the training room, I saw I had a voicemail on my cell and a voicemail from Omaha on my work phone (we get email notifications when we have voicemails).  I thought nothing of it.  During the lunch "break," my co-worker and I somehow started talking about kids and she asked if I wanted children.  How did we get on this topic?!  We chatted.  I was honest.  But I didn't share what had been going on.  (At work, only my boss knows about it.)  A little bit later, she left to find out why none of our new hires were back from getting their badges and fingerprints after lunch.  I had just checked that emailed voicemail and discovered it was LFS guy.  Hmmm...  So I checked my Gmail account and had an email waiting from him as well.  There was my good news!  I was about to cry, but pulled myself together just in time for people to start streaming back into the room.  Phew!

Keeping focused was a challenge, but luckily we were very busy.  Jen was really excited to be the first non-family-member to find out.  Since we had just been talking about kids, I felt like she just had to know and I was dying to tell someone, so I let her read the email.  I did text Mom first, though.  :)

Last night after work I talked with LFS guy about what happens next.  In his email he included some websites where I could see "photo listings" of kids in foster care who are eligible for adoption.  So, the "what now" is this: his people look at my information and compare to the children in their system to find a match while I look at the websites to see if there's anyone about whom I would like to know more.  Today I submitted my first "request for additional information" regarding a little girl in Iowa.  According to the website, someone should contact me within two business days.  Those two days are for that child's agency to contact LFS guy for the details about me and for them to look it over and decide if it's worth moving forward.  And that's the process - search, compare, decide whether or not to move forward.  Moving forward would consist of asking and answering questions, then visiting, and then more decisions.  But those are adventures yet to come.

I hope no one is offended they weren't part of the inner circle.  I kept it from all but my parents and my boss until the classes were done.  Then it was only with a couple local friends and the immediate family.  Didn't want to get everyone talking just to sit and wait and wait and wait, so I decided to wait until the final approval came and the matching process was begun.  There will still be waiting involved, but nothing like waiting for state governments to get their acts together.   About that, I'm sure many of you can agree.

So, I have moved from being frustrated by silent waiting to being anxious over potentially rapid movement forward.  At least the silence is over.  From here on out you'll see updates regarding the process, and between progress, maybe just some general thoughts.  It's time to document the process.  It's time to share the experience.  And it's time to pray that God lead the right child and I to each other.

Movie Review

I think it was last week I watched "The Lives of Others" - a foreign film I'd never have seen were it not for Netflix.  It was very good.  The trailer doesn't do it justice.  With all the fuss over what the NSA is/isn't doing, it made the movie even more interesting.  I recommend checking it out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FppW5ml4vdw

Waiting

Waiting sucks. Sometimes it's okay because you can kill the time in nice ways while you wait or something, but in general I think, waiting sucks.  Of course we live in an instant gratification society.  We expect everything to happen when we want it and how we want it.  (Was it Burger King who bragged it makes it your way?)  But there must be more to it than that.  I mean, there's waiting I don't mind.  I garden.  There's plenty of waiting involved there.  I don't expect the plants to produce immediately.  Doesn't mean I'm not excitedly watching, but it's not the kind of waiting that annoys the heck out of me.  So it's not like the fast food mentality affects how I watch my garden grow.  But!  The waiting that sucks is when one is waiting for the other shoe to drop.  You know something is about to get worse, but don't know when "about" is actually going to happen and so you wait...and wait...and...really?  Wait more?  Or what about when something really awesome is going to happen.  You know it's coming and it can't get here fast enough and...OMG...more waiting?!  And then there's the waiting when you don't know what the end result will be.  That surely is the worst.  You want to be excited and hopeful...and yet, do you really want set yourself up for feeling disappointed if it doesn't turn out the way you hope?  Hmm...I bet Samson doesn't think about these things while he waits for me to come home from work.

Talking Points

I don't know how prevalent it's been on other channels, but I have been hearing about it some and I saw it last night.  I think he hit the nail on the head.  Even if you don't agree with everything he says, it's good food for thought.  Check it out.

http://www.foxnews.com/on-air/oreilly/2013/07/23/bill-oreilly-president-obama-and-race-problem

Almost Done

Last weekend I got the next part of the big yard project done.  Probably the biggest weeds were next to the garage and there were also some more voluntary little trees.  Also mowed down weeds along the neighbor's driveway.  Getting so close to done!

After the mowing, but before the chopping

Night and Day!

And did I happen to mention that there were wasp nests hanging from the roof of that side of the garage.  I'm lucky they didn't come after me!  And thank God the Orkin man came just a couple days later and killed those suckers dead-dead!

Now We're Cookin' With Gas

My new, shiny toy...

It started with a big box...

...and a lot of pieces...

...but with a bit of effort...

...and a bit of help...

...this shiny new toy...

...has me cookin' with gas.

More Yard Work...But With Help This Time

So, the next weekend, I did some more work in the yard.  This time, I had a helper.  :)

Before, my angel was getting more and more hidden behind the rose bushes.

She can see much better now.

Before, this flowerbed was full of weeds and "baby trees."

Now all that's left are the few alyssum that came back this year.

Not really yard work, but it still has to do with plants...



Ready to start repotting some houseplants.

Jaden was a good little helper all morning.

Hard Yard Work

About two weeks ago, I got ambitious (!) and put some major elbow grease into the back-back part of the yard.  I wish I'd gotten some even more "before" pictures, but more like "in process" ones will have to tell the story.



I thought I was done with these when I moved away from the farm!
What's it doing in my backyard?

Big weeds!

The "short" weeds have been mowed down.  Now for the big ones.

I console myself by knowing there's a large dead branch under all those now large dead weeds.

After a lot of elbow grease

 

Only one "little" patch left (and it's still there).

That was a lot of work!

Homestead Days

In mid-June, Beatrice has Homestead Days which includes all sorts of events for a week.  One of those was concerts.  We caught one by the Tallgrass Prairie Express String Band.  The violinist was quite the character and played more than one instrument.  It was pretty neat.  Will have to make an annual thing about it but go with more time to explore next year.

New Door

I finally have a door on my bedroom (versus the curtain that went up just last summer).  Actually, the door itself (less the hardware) was hung the day after Easter.  I finally finished at the beginning of June doing the staining and putting on the hardware.  I've never stained wood before, so it was pretty exciting to finally do something like that.

Frame done.  Door still naked.

All stained.  Waiting for hardware.

Ta da!  :)

Graduation

Somewhere near the end of May, Nikki graduated from pre-school and Ivy graduated from pre-pre-school...or something like that.  Anyway...a couple photos from that...

Nikki gets her cap and diploma.

She can't read it, but she's happy to have it.

Basement Work

I have started having work done in the basement piecemeal.  Ultimately, I would like to have a 100% finished basement.  In the meantime, it has other things that need to be done first.  Besides, it is expensive (ungodly expensive) and so it almost has to be done in pieces.  First I had some anchors put in and insulation done.  Next will be waterproofing.  Here's what the anchor work looked like.

Before...

Another part of the basement before...

During...

Outside during...

More outside during...

Done-ish...with the anchors, anyway.  These ended up getting covers put over them.

After...and somehow, I'm going to remember and be able to tighten these monthly.  Riiiight.

April Showers Bring May...Thunderstorms?

We had some pretty good storms in May.  Caught some evidence...

Aw hail.

 

I wish I could have posted the video with the huge crack of thunder, but it was way too big a file to post.  :(  That particular storm, we had hail, watches, warnings, a lot of rain...and it smelled so good!

Want to see a picture of a happy dog?

Is that rib bone for me, Mom?  Oh thank you!!

It's A Race!

Hmm...If Justin, Nikki, and Ivy raced, who would win?

On your marks...get set...

Go!

I think Nikki might win.

Helping Auntie

In the middle of May, I was lucky enough to spend time with Nikki and Ivy for a good chunk of the day.  They helped me with some yard-type work and planting flowers around the mailbox - flowers they picked out.  Here are some photos from our nice day together.

Look!  An inch worm!

Nikki strikes a pose for a photo of her garden look.

Preparing the flowerbed.

Planting the flowers we picked out!

Ivy helps Auntie fill in the soil around the flowers.

Nikki waters the newly planted flowers.