Confession of a Secret

I confess I have been keeping a secret from, well, practically everyone I know.  Now, finally, the point has been reached where talking about what's going on is...um...more interesting than it would have been before.  That is to say there really wasn't anything happening for a long time.  Now there's motion forward and things are far more certain (though some would say it was always certain and I'm just paranoid).  So here's what's up...

Yesterday (Monday, August 19th) I received some good news.  Finally, all ducks were in their row and I am officially licensed/approved to be a foster mom.  More importantly, that means I can adopt a child from foster care which actually is the ultimate goal.

I will give you a minute to digest that...

("Jeopardy" theme music)

Need a little more time?  Okay...

("Jeopardy" theme music)

Time for the back story.  I have always felt like a natural born mom, and here I am with no children of my own.  Facing the fact that biologically my time is wearing thin and being utterly surrounded by talk of adoption (that's another story for another time, I think), I decided to give adoption a more serious consideration.  As I am who I am, I started doing research.  The conclusion to which I came was that there are children out there who need a mom.  Foster kids have lost so much or been deprived of so much it seems to me they deserve to finally be receiving versus losing.  Neither of us should have to continue to miss out on what would be so mutually beneficial.

So, in February, I decided to start the process and chose Lutheran Family Services as my agency.  They don't have an office in Lincoln (for some ridiculous reason), so almost immediately I was driving to Omaha once a week for foster parenting classes.  This was in time for Lent and ended just in time for Easter and the choir concerts.  Oy.  That was rough.  But the timing was just right and the weather held on the days I needed to drive, thank God.  I finished class, went through basically two "home study" experiences because the Lincoln lady was practically ignorant and left all sorts of gaps causing the guy from Omaha to drive out here to follow up with his own visit.

Finally, everything was submitted to the State of Nebraska.  Then the gal at the state had questions that made no sense.  LFS guy and I sorted things out and the paperwork was resubmitted.  There were a couple more questions (supposedly the last), and everything was submitted again.  Then more waiting...and more waiting...and, yes, more waiting.  What had become an "any day" turned into an "I've called every week and they are still waiting for the check from the State of Arizona to come back, but otherwise, everything is fine."  Oookay.  Thanks, AZ.  About a week later...

I was working with new hires yesterday.  Just before noon, my phone started buzzing while I was sitting with someone elsewhere in the room.  "Is that my phone?"  "Yes."  "Okay.  I was wondering who wasn't answering their phone."  When I got back to the desk at the front of the training room, I saw I had a voicemail on my cell and a voicemail from Omaha on my work phone (we get email notifications when we have voicemails).  I thought nothing of it.  During the lunch "break," my co-worker and I somehow started talking about kids and she asked if I wanted children.  How did we get on this topic?!  We chatted.  I was honest.  But I didn't share what had been going on.  (At work, only my boss knows about it.)  A little bit later, she left to find out why none of our new hires were back from getting their badges and fingerprints after lunch.  I had just checked that emailed voicemail and discovered it was LFS guy.  Hmmm...  So I checked my Gmail account and had an email waiting from him as well.  There was my good news!  I was about to cry, but pulled myself together just in time for people to start streaming back into the room.  Phew!

Keeping focused was a challenge, but luckily we were very busy.  Jen was really excited to be the first non-family-member to find out.  Since we had just been talking about kids, I felt like she just had to know and I was dying to tell someone, so I let her read the email.  I did text Mom first, though.  :)

Last night after work I talked with LFS guy about what happens next.  In his email he included some websites where I could see "photo listings" of kids in foster care who are eligible for adoption.  So, the "what now" is this: his people look at my information and compare to the children in their system to find a match while I look at the websites to see if there's anyone about whom I would like to know more.  Today I submitted my first "request for additional information" regarding a little girl in Iowa.  According to the website, someone should contact me within two business days.  Those two days are for that child's agency to contact LFS guy for the details about me and for them to look it over and decide if it's worth moving forward.  And that's the process - search, compare, decide whether or not to move forward.  Moving forward would consist of asking and answering questions, then visiting, and then more decisions.  But those are adventures yet to come.

I hope no one is offended they weren't part of the inner circle.  I kept it from all but my parents and my boss until the classes were done.  Then it was only with a couple local friends and the immediate family.  Didn't want to get everyone talking just to sit and wait and wait and wait, so I decided to wait until the final approval came and the matching process was begun.  There will still be waiting involved, but nothing like waiting for state governments to get their acts together.   About that, I'm sure many of you can agree.

So, I have moved from being frustrated by silent waiting to being anxious over potentially rapid movement forward.  At least the silence is over.  From here on out you'll see updates regarding the process, and between progress, maybe just some general thoughts.  It's time to document the process.  It's time to share the experience.  And it's time to pray that God lead the right child and I to each other.