New Year's Eve and Cold Toes

2013 is almost done (of course some parts of the world have already moved on).  Here, anyway, it has two hours (give or take) to go.  Jenna volunteered for a 9:00 bedtime (!) since tomorrow is potentially going to be a busy day with guests coming for the football game.  I should do some cleaning now so it doesn't need to be done in the morning...but that would be productivity and my subconscious is in Friday mode and seems to think my body can be lazy.  I'm not doing a very good job fighting that.  And I'm pretty sure I have ice cubes for toes which surely would make walking around the house difficult.  Samson is following me everywhere I go because of the pops and bangs of fireworks nearby.  (Why are there fireworks going off at 10-something o'clock?  Doesn't 2014 start at midnight?)  It makes him nervous so he stays close to his mommy.  Lots of "good boy, Samson" and reassuring pats.

I should put on some slippers, eat a dairy and nitrate-free sugar cookie (thanks, Cookie Fairy!), put away my hymnal collection, and maybe find an appropriate libation for ringing in 2014.  And 2014 is looking to be a very, very...um...different year.  2014...Hard to wrap my mind around the fact it will be here in less than two hours.  What happened to 2013?!

A Unique Christmas Week

It has certainly been a unique week and subsequently a unique Christmas.

As with just about every weekend she has spent with me so far, Jenna and I did the whole church music and errands thing all weekend.  Then the uniqueness started.  We packed up and headed for the farm.  The drive was fine and she was very excited to be making her first trip to a real farm.  I worked maybe a couple hours at most on most days of the week and all remotely.  That in and of itself is highly unique.
My family was very welcoming as I fully expected.  Jenna got to meet everyone - even Andrew and Andrea who made a surprise trip up from Arizona!  She had a blast playing with Nikki and Ivy who were anxious to impress her and followed her everywhere.
Christmas morning was a little rough as concerns over "being bored" came out of nowhere and she was frustrated with not always getting her way in between spurts of having a wonderful time.  Christmas evening there was a disagreement over what to eat and what time to go to bed, but that was resolved fairly.
The day after Christmas was a rough one, too...and there was a full on meltdown over bedtime.  That was fun.  But we survived and yesterday a lot of time was spent putting energy into proving she can be a good kid.  Today there was some pouting and frustration when scrapbooking wasn't going the way she expected, and a little bit at bedtime and at being told what she can or can't take to church in the morning.

Sleep schedules have been all sorts of messed up.  Diet has been positively unhealthy.  In light of the fact that we're also dealing with hormones out of whack...no wonder she's been cranky and emotional.  She is disappointed she doesn't get to sing in church with me tomorrow.  Hopefully that disappointment doesn't manifest into anything frustrating for both of us.

I can honestly say I've not had a Christmas like this one before and doubtful ever will again.  The next week is shaping up to be as odd.  I will be working partial days in the office most of the week.  Jenna will be going to daycare for those times.  I might work from home on Thursday.  If so, a friend's child will be joining us.  Jenna has appointments during the week and so do I which will make the week more interesting.  Throw in a holiday and a football game and we have more opportunity for screwy sleep and food habits.

Speaking of screwy sleep habits, perhaps I should work on getting some of that sleep stuff about which I've heard so much.  It might help me have more energy and be less inclined to crankiness myself.

A Tale of the Last Few Days and the Next 2 Weeks

The most time yet, Jennifer (who prefers Jenna), will be with me for two weeks over the holidays.  (There you go.  Now you all know her name.)  Her foster family dropped her off Saturday morning (with all her Christmas presents) and will pick her up on January 4th in the afternoon.
We have been shopping like crazy over the weekend when we weren't at church, and I think we are as ready for Christmas as we can be.  Next week...we'll see.
I am working from home (or the farm) at random this week.  So far that is Monday morning, Tuesday afternoon, Thursday afternoon, and sometime Friday.  Next week I will go into the office at least a couple days, but not for full days.  I want to spend as much time with Jen as I can and thankfully have plenty of ETO to do it.

Last week I was poking at the caseworker and finally heard from her Thursday that we're waiting for a report from Jenna's therapist.  Once the caseworker has it and has reviewed it, we schedule a time for the current foster-mom, the caseworker, and myself to meet with Jenna and her therapist at his office to tell her about everything.  That's right.  She still doesn't know.  (So if you are going to be around her over these next couple weeks, please be careful to not talk about adoption or living with me, etc.)  After the meeting and telling, there is paperwork to file with the state and then Jen will move to my house.  All told the process should take about two weeks once started.  Meanwhile, I am just the nice respite care lady with the crazy dog and "cool" church.

Thursday night was her "Winter Concert" at school.  Sarah and Tegan came and kept me company listening to kids play "Jingle Bells" badly.  It was so cute!  It was also so awkward as her biological father was there along with the step-family, foster-mom, and mentor (who seems very nice).  Nothing more awkward than having someone you know and who you know knows you realize you are the person taking in your kid.  Oy.  But it was nice she had so much support there.  She needs that.

Jenna is very excited about going to the farm.  She wanted to leave Sunday night.  I'll be lucky to be ready by Monday afternoon!  I'm glad she's looking forward to it.  I know she will be welcomed with open arms (and that makes me excited).  She is also excited about singing "Away in a Manger" with my family.  Who wouldn't be?  ;-)

I really need to keep working on getting ready to leave.  Clothes and et cetera don't pack themselves!  Maybe I'll even get to sleep a little at some point.  I can't wait to get to the farm and relax a little...or try.  :-)

More Waiting

And let there be more waiting.  I talked to the caseworker on Thursday.  She is waiting to hear back from the therapist.  So...more waiting.  If/when the therapist signs off, it will be current foster-mom, plus caseworker, plus me, plus Kiddo and the therapist in the therapist's office.  That won't be weird at all...or intense.

A Monumental Decision

Well, it has been quite a month or so.  Kiddo has visited me more or less every other weekend now since sometime near the beginning of November (or there about).  This most recent time was from Thursday night to Monday morning.  We got to practice dropping off and picking up from school.  Can't say that was all too exciting or challenging.  She seemed bummed when I dropped her off Monday morning, but I was bummed too that the weekend was over and it was time to go back to work.

So I have had a monumental decision looming in front of me since I heard about and met this little girl.  Do I, or don't I?  Would I be the best mom for her?  I have been surrounded by encouragement, voices that insisted "yes, you should" and the like.  I think I have been the only one not jumping up and down excited and positive.  I've tried to let the rational side of my brain be in charge.  I have recently had the opportunity to chat with several people who have experience in the adoption and foster system (including two who were themselves adopted from foster care) and they have had very good advice to give about how to decide, what these kids need, the changes this could or will bring, and more.  It has been most helpful.

I have decided to move forward with the placement of this little girl in my home.  I called my agency guy and Kiddo's caseworker late this afternoon to get the ball rolling.  I had to leave a message for the caseworker, but I suspect I will be getting a phone call from her straight away tomorrow...probably while I'm not able to answer the phone.  We will talk about details such as moving dates and so much more I'm sure.  After a minimum of six months fostering, we are able to move forward with adoption if so desired.

The adventure continues just in an even more real way.  It came down to my willingness to step out in faith.  So...*step*